Casualty call day. Time-11pm. I had gone to the ICU from casualty to review a patient. The steps from the icu lead down into the trauma bay in the ER and then into the green and yellow zone areas. A door keeps the atrocities of the trauma bay hidden from the relatives of the person inside. As I came down the steps into the trauma bay, I watched a resuscitation being undertaken with all zest and zeal. But one look and by now I had attained the gut feeling that the prognosis was grim. I cast a quick glance at the unknown victim..a middle aged man. I didn’t know his story. But I was almost sure there was not going to be a new chapter. As I slid open the door to go out of the trauma bay, I sent a quick glance at the people at the door. An old man and a young one. Fear and anticipation were  written on their faces. Within minutes they will be told the truth. And then the loss will sink in. How will they take it? Will wails of despair fill this air now? Or will it be a silent reaction, wails masked by shock?

No matter what the response is, it will be painful. Loss. It is an emotion that is hard to digest. Losing a person to death. A broken relationship that makes a person lose his position in another’s heart. Loss of health, sanity, wealth…it’s all painful. It reminds you of the value of many people/things/ positions you had taken for granted until now. And it churns your heart and leaves it to bleed it’s tears of pain. All wounds will heal   but some wounds heal by scarring. And that scar will remain forever as a silent reminder of that irreplaceable loss.


Nothing but a recipient of Christ's grace. I am a young doctor and I use this space to find meaning in the bedlam of my thoughts. My blog might resonate with the screams of a young adult finding her place in life, the stench of hospital corridors, images of the many people who intrigue me and the lessons my Saviour Jesus teaches me.

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