When I was a kid, I loved my birthday. Since it’s just twenty eight days into a new year, it wasn’t too painstaking for me to cross the days in the calander. I would dream of it many days in advance. What dress would I wear to school that day(that was the only day we could wear something other than uniform to school)? What would my birthday cake look like? What would Daddy and Mamma be getting me? How many people would wish me? It was definitely something to look forward to.
And then came college. All creativity possible was expressed on that day and it was ensured that the birthday “victim” had a hard time. Yet, no matter how nasty the birthday prank would turn out, we would all have a great time together. Even during internship, we somehow found time to be there for each other’s special days. But once you move out of college, everything changes. Everything. New jobs,people, places and the cogwheels of life just go on. I have realised my feelings towards birthdays have also changed. In contrast to excitement, I looked at this birthday with dread. Absolute disquiet. Well, the reasons? The increase in age seems to vex my kith and kin so much more than me. My poor mom will now be pestered by every aunt in town( funny, how they turn up just to annoy you!), who is dying to attend my wedding. And then there is the next question, “what is the next step in life?”.”Will you be able to clear this exam?” “Don’t you need to find a new job if this does not work out?” These questions certainly don’t help brighten your day. I knew these were the root causes of my angst.
But instead of wallowing in self pity, I decided to just face this day. And look at it with gratitude. I wanted to make a list. The last time I did this “gratitude list exercise” was nearly six months back, on the train from Oddanchatram. It helps. Trust me. Especially if you are a constant whiner like me.( I have wondered how patient God really is when I start my rambling about how unfair He is! Or maybe He has a tune out or mute button. Or earplugs?!) I find it easier to find the wrongs that have happened to me and complain that no good comes my way. So a gratitude list definitely helps! And the list was quite long. Maybe I should check it before I whine next time.
” …For what do you have that you did not receive?..”(1Cor4:7). All credit for everything on my list goes to my Father in heaven. For who else could ensure that my parents are still alive? That I am completely healthy? For my friends, family…for safety..for every small thing on that list? Providence. The way a loving Father in Heaven scripts his daughter’s story- editing the unnecessary, making it as dramatic as possible, delaying the best scenes and ensuring that this is a story that will match the credentials of its author.